Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm trying to make a mute point

I’m trying to make a mute point – A mute point (argument, hypothesis, etc.), as opposed to a moot point (obsolete), is a point made in complete silence, and of course doesn’t actually exist. “What? Are you trying to convey something? Why are you staring at me intently but not speaking?” See also – a moo point, a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter, its moo. – Contributed by S.H., K.T., and Joey from friends.

Echo-System – When a person does not know how to pronounce ecosystem (ee-ko-system) they refer of course to the spelunkers dream, the echo-system. A series of caverns, caves, or otherwise creeeeeepy passageways that when spoken into return your voice to you at the same volume in perpetuity for up to one minute. I of course made this up, made this up, made this up.....

Receptioner – There is a woman at my work, she gives the receptionist breaks, and when there is someone waiting at the front desk, or a package has arrived, she will get on the PA system as say something like “Will Dauber, please come to the receptioner desk, Will, please come to the receptionist desk.” She will actually use receptioner and receptionist in the same announcement. If she was consistent we could deal with it. I did determine that receptioner means reception in Danish, as in to have a reception, with food stuff and such. Perhaps she’s Danish? Its possible, but the prevailing theory is that she thinks that a receptionist in action is a receptioner and we wouldn’t surprised if out of the office she tells people, utilizing a French accent of course, that she’s a ree-cept-shuhnair! – Contributed by K.T.

A Good Number? A good number of people were held at gunpoint and robbed in downtown Baden-Baden, Germany today but were released unharmed. A good number of people and livestock were killed today when a tornado set down in central Arkansas. A good number of people were stricken with the Ebola virus yesterday when frolicking with a Zebra. So, assuming that the Ebola virus, being robbed, and death are all bad things, is there any "good number" that would be appropriate here other than zero? But is zero even a number or just the absence of a number? Can you have positive negative? A "good" negative? What does this even mean? Besides laziness, of course. – Contributed by P.B.

“Cause I will be in Fresno on business” – Because is a word, cuz is its shortened version traveling on the shortbus to language school (see also, fer, whull, and wur in previous posts), and cause is “a reason for an action or condition”. You can not use cause and because interchangeably as my boss once did in an e-mail when he was going to be traveling to Fresno.

Nuther – That’s a whole nuther matter altogether. STOP! Nuther is not a word. Another is a word, but another would not work in that sentence, for example: That’s a whole another matter altogether. You can use other, or additional, but you cannot use nuther, a shortened version of another, being used where the real word doesn’t even work!

Metropolitan/Cosmopolitan Ice cream – Ever heard of these? No? Neither have I. Well actually someone did comment on metropolitan ice cream today, and well, here we are. Neopolitan ice cream I’ve not only heard of I’ve actually had it. Metropolitan ice cream could be ice cream made and/or sold in a city. Cosmopolitan ice cream on the other hand might be sophisticated with worldwide appeal. So what if you’re having very refined neopolitan ice cream in a large city? Cosneometlitan?

Travasse ye maties! – You can traverse a crevasse but you can’t travasse a crevasse, or anything else for that matter. When I heard this term the first time I couldn’t help but think of the pirate term “Avast Ye!” from the Dutch term for 'hold fast' and means "Stop and pay attention.", like, "Get a load of this." I suppose this could be developed into a new term meaning come over, come over here, come across. Its quite fun actually, try it, next time you are requesting a group of your friends to join you cry out, “Travasse ye maties!”.

The Communistic Trifecta – The other day a woman at my work entered into the pantheon of this blog with a single sentence during which she improperly used supposably, referenced the fictional book in the Bible called Revelations, and to seal the deal, invented a new word, communistic. It’s a little difficult to explain this out of context, but, in talking about the economy, and how China owns two trillion dollars of foreign currency (mostly U.S. dollars), she said something to the affect of “supposably in the book of Revelations there is the mention of communistic influence”. I immediately asked to be transferred to any office or cubicle that was anywhere near hers that I may more aptly and more often record such priceless gemlets of language manglage. – Contributed by S.H.

Currently compiling entries for the next blog including:

Over Indulge







and more!