Friday, October 28, 2011

Lasterday the operationing was so terrible that we completely underhauled this blog

"We’re gonna burn that bridge when we get there.”
Some people burn bridges, some people cross bridges, and others, when faced with insurmountable obstacles, just burn them down. (This was spoken by a planner to an engineer). Now, it's possible that this planner is a "glasses half empty kind of person" (another entry for this blog), but how many glasses are we talking about? Because as I see it, if you're a two glasses half empty kinda person, well, that's a whole glass of empty, which is nothing.

Over Awed – I feel like we’ve covered this ground together. In previous posts we’ve had over indulge and over empowered and now, over awed. Why do people feel the need to add over in front of words that are already fully stating their intended meaning? Awe: A mixed emotion of reverence, respect, dread, and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great beauty, sublimity, or might. Now go ahead and try to put over in front of any of those definitive words. Over reverence, over dread, etc.

Take for Granite – To take something for granted is to fail to appreciate the value of something. To take something for granite? You mean the often course igneous rock? "Alex, I'd like words that sound like other words but cannot be used in their stead for negative $5,000."

We touched bases – Co-workers, I love ‘em, they never stop giving me material! The euphemism, to touch base, means to make contact, to coordinate, to establish communication, etc. To touch bases with someone, that like a Vulcan mind meld?

Operationing – “The left turn pocket is queuing but overall the intersection is operationing fine.” Wow, even for a traffic engineer that’s a stretch. Thank you G.K. for reporting this, and K.T., for providing material for this blog, laughter, and always laughing along with us when we laugh at you.

Lasterday – The day before yesterday, lasterday. I love it when my daughter (three) says this, always cracks me up, I even encourage it. I think it’s a completely reasonable word, even if she means yesterday. I hereby put forth that lasterday should become official for the day before yesterday. Always makes me want to break into song with just one little change: "Lasterday, all my troubles seemed so far away....oh lasterday, came suddenly..."

Obsoless – To obsoless, the act of becoming obsolete, the slip into obsolesity, the degration of that which is current and up to date. The current condition of the English language could be described as being in a state of obsoless. Oh the obsolessness! Do people ever consider what they are saying before the say it? Clearly not, sigh.

Completely Underhauled - Ah yes, the classic underhaul. When you're a glasses half empty kinda person, and things begin to obsoless, dispense with the overhauling and go straight to the underhauling. Taking something that's working poorly (in this case the person was talking about a travel demand model) and underhauling it? Well, what you'd be left with at that point is unclear, something due south of useful no doubt, which of course, is what generated the need for the underhaul in the first place.

Wurds That Just Arunt 3.0
My friend (thanks Ballen!) has a boss who experiences some cognitive dissonance with regularity. She has said, in the past few months, with much frequency, the following:
  • Pacific (when she means specific)
  • Ackable (when she means applicable)
  • En-Jair (when she means Engineer)
  • The Building is sprinkled (when describing a given building that has a sprinkler system)
  • And “landed up" instead of "ended up". Real life example from said woman: "We landed up getting the contract for this job after all!”.
In this single post this person has overtaken the woman from my previous office who gave us the communistic trifecta: “supposably (1) there’s this communistic (2) influence in the book of Revelations(3)! That's it folks! She's done it! The communistic trifecta!” and “fasterness.”

Let me close with a brief summary of this entry, if I may. Now, I don't want to take for granite that you've been over awed with this blog, and if you're a half glasses kinda person then over awed may not even be ackable. Just lasterday I considered a complete underhaul of the layout, as when compared to some other blogs, it seems a little stale, like it may be beginning to obsoless, but I'd really like to touch bases with all my readers before we land up anywhere, and in any case, we can burn that bridge when we get to it. To all my enjair friends, remember to be pacific and always follow code to make sure your buildings are sprinkled, and that the sprinkles are operationing well, before the occupancy permit gets issued.