To say this blog entry has been a long time coming is the
grossest of understatements. I have been collecting and hoarding manglage for
some three years now and it’s time to disgorge these abominations into the
blogosphere for all to loathe. Without further adieu……
Wurds That Just
Arunt 4.0
Pipe-Cycle – A
co-worker (bless their hearts ye sustainers of this blog!) once noted in a
staff meeting that “we have a lot of projects in the pipe-cycle.” Now, I don’t
know what the pipe-cycle is exactly, but I’m glad we've got a lot of projects
in it, as it apparently directly relates to our job-security. This could be the
co-worker brain’s reaction to our environment in which we have a lot of
projects going on and several of them deal with bicycles, hence the pipe-cycle,
in lieu of say, the more common refrain, pipeline.
Inter-Dispersed – This
entry actual shows up during internet searches with obscure scientific
references but I would just like to officially call manglage on this one here
and now. Many times things are interwoven, interlaced, interlocking,
interlinked, interconnected, and even intermingled. You see where I’m going
with this. The point is that stuff is getting together in some way or another,
pick your adjective. Dispersed on the other hand is basically the opposite of
this. It means things are spread out. So when you say, in my presence,
inter-dispersed, that is, things that are closely together yet spread out, I’m
going to have to call foul and deign this blogworthy. Inter-dispersed reminds
of one of my favorite past blog entries, overneath.
Addendmunt – “That can just be added to the MOU as an addendmunt.” I can see how you could take a perfectly pronounceable word like addendum and maybe accidently say “addendamn” or maybe even “addendim”, but addendmunt? Somebody needs to see their primary physician for some ear wax removal if every time someone says addendum you hear addendmunt.
Sustence (sustenance)
–Sustence, the ugly stepchild of actual sustenance, is that feeling we've
all felt when you are full but not satisfied, filled but not nourished. Never
settle for mere sustence when you could have sustenance, processed food when
you could have an organic community garden, fast food when you could have a
home cooked meal. The same goes for words. In nearly every situation please use
the full actual word, not just the sustence
of a word.
Insistive –
Another consultant commented that the client is “insistive that deadlines be
established”. Apparently we were being insensitive to the needs of the client
and this led to this new word, rather than simply say the client is insisting
that deadlines be established the consultant wanted to imbue some additional
meaning, and thus manglage.
Widdled – Another
consultant once commented to me that we need to better describe the process we
went through to the client, how we widdled down the options. I sagely nodded my
head whilst I wrote down this obviously humorous language and its context for
future use. While one can whittle down some options, as in “to reduce or
eliminate gradually, as if by whittling with a knife”, one cannot widdle down
anything. Widdling sounds like something a young duckling would do as it heads
to water: “look at the baby ducks widdle down the bank mommy!”
Bombsati – Basmati
rice that’s soooooo good it’s the bomb-sati.
Provided by my mother-in-law after a long day at work. The same mother-in-law
who brought us “Hank your pants up” to which her children replied through
laughter: “Who’s Hank and what’s wrong with his pants?”
Upsetness – This
new word was used in the following context: “I think you can see the upsetness
on my face.” Upsetness? UPSETNESS!!??
I’m going to punch you in the face to create some real upsetness if you
ever use upsetness again.
To summarize, I’d like to offer this addendmunt to this
post. I’d first like to apologize, if my delay in this blog post has caused a
lack of manglage sustence in your life. Sometimes the pipe-cycle of manglage
gets sooooo long that I just don’t know how to widdle down the material into a
single post. Eventually so much manglage gets inter-dispersed in my life I just
can’t take it anymore, I can almost physically feel the collective upsetness of
my readers. Be assured that this post was just the tip of the iceberg and more
posts are in the pipe-cycle! As always, if you hear manglage, don’t hesitate to
send it to me via email and just put “blog” in the subject line. Cheers.
