Friday, December 4, 2009

Misprunciations That Vix Us 2.0

This subject was covered in a previous blog, but with so many new words being mispronounced I have to post “Misprunciations That Vix Us 2.0”

Masonairy – Submitted via e-mail from a reader, this person is in the construction business and has to listen to people constantly refer to masonry (the craft or occupation of a mason, work constructed by a mason, esp. stonework: the crumbling masonry of ancient walls.) as masonairy. This isn’t fluffed up masonry, or even puffy looking masonry. It’s not a new construction technique whereby air is injected into the masonry thereby making it less stable. This is a common problem with humans. We hear a word like masonry, but somehow the connection from the eardrum to the brain, or perhaps the brain itself, just doesn’t quite function correctly, and we don’t hear something correctly and from thence on mispronounce it, even when we hear it correctly pronounced over and over by others. It’s amazing how the ear or brain can keep malfunctioning over and over. Users of masonairy have all the symptoms of the disease known as Suffixitis.

Revelant (Relevant): I’m reveling in the fact that coworker just used this today because it’s relevant to this blog. It is not however revelant to this blog because revelant is not a word, except to one of my coworkers. I can only shake my head on this one, could it be they suffer from ulsdexia (dyslexia)?

Pronunciation [rel-uh-vuhnt] –adjective - Bearing upon or connected with the matter in hand; pertinent: a relevant remark - Origin: 1550–60; < class="ital-inline">relevant- (s. of relevāns), special use of L, prp. of relevāre to raise, lift up.

Irregardlessly (Regardless): I think you can only pray for people who use this word. Irregardless is bad enough, but irregardlessly? Why not irregardlesslyness? On the other hand, if you can get some points using this during Scrabble, then you might get a “well played” from me, unless you’re playing with people from a concussion support group (“Hi my name is……..*looks down at name tag* Bill! – Group: “Hiiiiii ……..*group squints to see name on tag*..Bill!”), yeah that group.

Reckuhnize (Recognize): Please reckuhnize there is a hard G in this word and pronounce it, please, the word is reck-cog-nize, not reck-uh-nize. I do reckuhnize that this could be the bastard child of the phrase generally associated with the southeastern United Stated “I reckon”.

Innividual (Individual): I have no problem with you being your own person, unique, distinct; but this doesn’t give you the right to ignore the letter D in this word. Besides, innividual sounds just a little, well, inbred. Like you squeezed two words together that just shouldn’t be, like cousins.

Bohemoth (Behemoth): I have a friend who’s got a real problem with this word. He understands that it starts with a soft buh followed by heemuth, he just doesn’t agree with it. To him it should be pronounced BO-heemuth, partly because it’s describing any creature or thing of monstrous size or power and therefore I guess deserves a strong BOH at the beginning, whatever, blog worthy.

Eltz, Eltzwhere (Else, Elsewhere): Warning, once you are aware of this debauchery it may haunt you. Like some noxious fad that irks you whenever you see it (UGG boots come to mind) this word will do the same in its many incarnations like auditory nails on the chalkboard. There is no t in this word, there is no z in this word, it’s basically a L sound followed by a S sound, Ellllssssss. No T, no Z. And when you confound this egregious disrespect for the English language by saying eltzwhere? Well, then you might find yourself reading about yourself on a blog when someone sends you a link....yeah you, reader, they’re talking about you.

Superseeded – Now I admit, superseeded may have plenty of applicable uses, perhaps as two words or hyphenated. If you are however referring, say in an official document, to the fact that some of your work is superseded by some other work, and you type in superseeded, then I might have to object, and make obtuse references to agriculture or fertility to make fun of you. Contributed by S.H.

Siddown – Like cojoined twins, these words need an operation. Sit and down should not be conjugated siddown. If you have a dog named Sid and need to tell it “down” then saying “siddown!” may be acceptable, otherwise, not so much.

PreDaytor/Accoomulate/Rellowcate – In an apparent attempt to change common pronunciations of the English language a co-worker has taken some very common words and just butchered them. This isn’t British English, Old-English, some attempt at modernization, or even some attempt at “renewance” (coming soon in Wurds That Just R’unt 2.0), it’s just plain manglage. In referring to the movie Predator (with Arnold) the person said “just like in the movie preee-daytor”. It took his fellow co-workers about 5 minutes to determine what movie he was “act tuh lee” talking about (yep, same person). He’s also been known to describe items as “acoomoolating” (accumulate) and/or of having to “rellowcate” (relocate) items. I will not stand for it! Well, okay, I’ll stand for it, but I’ll also blog about it.

Coming Soon!: Wurds That Just R-unt 2.0

If you enjoy words as much as I do, or somewhat less, you'll be sure to enjoy "The Superior Persons Book of Words, Volumes I, II, and III", by Peter Bowler. Small easy to read books made up of funny words with even funnier anecdotes about their usage, much like this blog, I hope. I own the set myself.

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