Overheard, Written Down, Blogged

The following statements were made at engineering related meetings that I attended. I did not make any of the following statements, but I did write them down. They may have made sense in context, but I'm fairly certain that even in context some were senseless. Here they are in no particular order, overheard, written down, blogged.

In lieu of saying "a topic off the top of our head", this person conjugated the two into:"Off the topic of our head....."

Instead of "I'm not a big fan of" and/or "I'm not fond of" - we get this gem:"I'm not a big fond of...."

Noting to a committee that we wouldn’t be having a meeting the following month this speaker confidently announced: "There will be a darkness in March.” (Eclipse maybe?)

Others that may or may not have made sense in context:

“We need to start laying this out in real.”

“We need to get the best bang for built.”

“We have to delay putting off the procrastination.”

“We would like an analysis of the impacts in our vin-cinity.”

“We have to draw a sign in the land.”

“We’ve gone back and forth on that many many a times.”

“That’s like a cheeseburger on a treadmill.”

"We've been gotten some new direction."

“In a slow economy people are looking to batten down the hatchets.”

Others that sounded wrong but turned out to be real words:

“We need to start calendaring all of these meetings.”

“Part of the process will be to show the disbenefits.”